February 18th, 1989
Presently sitting on the couch at Ben’s watching a film called, “The Lost Boys.” Trying desperately to distract myself from the fact that in less than ten hours my gorgeous boyfriend will kiss me goodbye, leave the house, get into a taxi, catch a train, travel on the tube and then board a plane, bound for Italy. At this time tomorrow night, we’ll be separated by almost eight hundred miles. I have to keep writing or I’ll cry.
Comments made thus far whilst watching this mental, yet somewhat amusing movie:
Susan (Ben’s mum) – Sometimes I can’t tell which legs are whose, with the way you two get all tangled up together.
Ben – (Impersonating Barry White) – We’re tangled up in lurv, deep, true, everlasting lurv.
Susan – You’re mad you are. I don’t know how you put up with him my love.
Jill (Ben’s sister) – Cor, that Corey Feldman’s a bit of alright ain’t he?
Barry (Jill’s boyfriend) – Oi, behave, I’m sitting right ‘ere (I’ll never ever begin to understand what Jill is doing with this cretin.)
Ben (in his I’m Your Big Brother And I Know More Than You voice) – You’ve got Jason Patric and Corey Haim in the same film and you’re ogling Corey Feldman?
Me – That vampire with the blonde, spiky hair is Donald Sutherland’s son.
Ben – Do you remember him in Stand By Me? Brilliant film. I remember you drooling over River Phoenix.
Me – Love that film. You should watch it Jill, Corey Feldman is in it.
Barry – Oi you, don’t encourage her (imbecile.)
Stan (Ben’s dad) – I don’t know what’s going on. This is the stupidest film ever. This bloke’s hobby is taxidermy? Unbelievable.
Barry – It’s a bit strange all that stuffing the animals and all that innit? (nincompoop.)
Me – I love Dianne Wiest, I think she’s a great actress.
Susan – I agree with you love, she’s very talented. I liked her in Hannah and her Sisters.
Stan – Michael Caine was in that as well.
At exactly the same time, Jill and her dad say, “Hello, my name is Michael Caine.” I am bewildered.
Ben – (in his I Am Superior To Everyone Here voice) – She was in Footloose as well but I bet none of you morons knew that.
Barry – Starts singing “footloose, footloose, kick off your Sunday shoes. Please Louise, pull me off of my knees.”
Stops when Ben gives him “the look.”
Susan – Go on Barry, I like that. Kenny Rogers wasn’t it?
Ben – (In his I Am The King In This Kingdom Of Peasants voice) – No Mother! Not Kenny Rogers, Kenny Loggins. Honestly, you people.
Susan – No need to bite my head off Ben.
Stan – Have you packed yet, Ben?
Ben – (in his I am so in love with you forever and ever voice that I’m rather partial to, with an expression to match, taking my hand) Let’s go upstairs babe.