February 25th, 1989
I should be packing but instead I’m sitting on the couch with Lucy, kind of watching ‘Platoon,’ which is intense, so say the least. Lucy is spending the night here before heading back to London tomorrow. She was a bit quiet earlier when she arrived but I know she hates being prodded with questions so I usually just wait until she’s ready to share what’s on her mind. We’re nothing alike in that way. I like to get everything out in the open and resolve it as quickly as possible!
Spent most of the day with mum, birthday shopping (because I won’t be here) then she treated me to lunch at Café Rouge, which was lovely. Mum and dad went to H & M’s for dinner and will hopefully bring some yummy leftovers home with them.
Meryl rang earlier in a panic about what to pack for temperatures we’ve been told will be well in excess of one hundred degrees! Meryl said she feels sick every time she thinks about, “The briefing and the long flight and the passengers and the crew and staying in the hotel and being…” Poor thing, she really was in a terrible state. I told her as soon as we take off, our training will kick in and everything will start falling into place. I didn’t dare tell her how nervous I’m feeling!
Just tried to get a hold of Ben but there was no answer. I was really hoping to catch him before l leave. He sent me a very groovy looking birthday card (which he’s apt to do) and a four-page letter that I’ve already memorized.
Earlier tonight, Lucy asked what’s going on with us.
“Everything is fantastic, except for the fact we’re living in different countries.”
“How long will that last?”
“I don’t know yet. He’ll be back at some point but will probably be working in Spain again this summer.”
“Same resort as last year?”
I shrugged, “Don’t know yet.”
“How do you feel about him going to Spain again?”
“I think it’ll be different this time and it’s his job isn’t it? Just like I’m leaving in the morning.”
“Yes but you’ll be home in a few days.”
“That’s true. Ugh, I really, really miss him.” I gushed.
“I can tell,” she said with the hint of a smile.
“Is it that obvious?”
She nodded her head yes. “Do you still feel the same about him as you did when you two deci..”
I sighed. “You and I have never really talked about that have we?”
“Not really,” she said, averting her eyes.
“Is it safe to now do you think?” I asked.
“I think so, don’t you?”
“I do. I’m so sorry for the way everything happened. All I can tell you about back then is that I felt like I’d been hit by a bolt of lightning.”
“That’s what it felt like?” she asked.
“For me, yes.”
“I think it was like that for him as well.”
Feeling surprised I asked, “Really?”
Lucy nodded her head yes. “One day we were sitting in the common room at school and Ben came in. I expected him to come and sit beside me because he was my, well, he was my boyfriend.”
There was so much I wanted to say in response, but I thought it best to keep quiet and let her continue talking.
“But instead, he sat beside you. I tried not to be angry but when I looked over, the two of you were facing each other, talking and laughing and it was as if you were both in a little bubble.”
I still wasn’t sure if I should speak or not, but I thought maybe it was time to take the bull by the horns. “I’m so sorry. You never told me that before. You must have hated me.”
“I did,” she nodded, “you know that.”
“But here we are almost six years later and you’re telling me you two are as good as ever so I think it’s meant to be. I really do.”
Hearing her say that felt like a big relief. “I absolutely love him.”
“You always have,” she said.
I nodded my head yes.
“Do you think you two will get married?” she asked.