April 24th, 1989
Flight from LHR – CDG – LHR
Couldn’t believe the amount of traffic on the way to Heathrow at five this morning. Two tedious hours just to go sixty miles. I can’t believe people do that every day, I would be so miserable.
On my way to the crew car park, I spotted Lolly at the bus stop. She had just come back from New York and said it was absolutely amazing. Now, more than ever, I’m desperate for a trip to the Big Apple. Of all the destinations BA flies to, New York is the place I need to get to! Fortunately, I had some time before check in, so I dropped Lolly off at Hatton Cross tube station. She said she’s not enjoying flying as much as she thought she would but I think it’s the sort of thing that takes time to get used to and she agreed with that.
In my mail slot at work was a letter from Annabel. She wrote; “I hope you’ve come to your senses where Ben is concerned. Do let me know!” She will no doubt be sorely disappointed when she reads my reply. She also suggested we request a trip together so I need to take a peek in the BA timetable for some ideas.
I was surprised at how content I felt being onboard the TriStar again and it made me realize how much I’ve missed being at work. Each short sector (forty minutes) to and from Paris was easy and I was home in the early afternoon. As strained as my relationship with driving is, I do have to say I’m enjoying the freedom of a car and certainly don’t miss travelling through central London on the tube during rush hour.
Carl rang and as always we had a great chat. We’re hoping to meet up later this week with some of the others from our training course. I’m dying to know how everyone’s getting on. Carl is doing really well and feels he’s very suited to the flying lifestyle.
Dad didn’t feel good so he went to bed early. I had dinner with mum then we spent hours looking through old photo albums, which I love. Somehow, we got round to talking about Ben and mum asked when I think I’ll hear from him.
“I don’t know, hopefully soon.”
“Are you missing him?” she asked.
“I am but I know this present set up with him working in a different country won’t be forever.”
“You don’t think so?” she asked.
“No, not at all.”
“What do you think will happen?”
“What? When he comes back?”
“With the two of you. In the future,” she said, without looking at me.
Trying not to sound too serious, I said, “I think we’ll get married and live happily ever after.”
I expected mum to laugh but she didn’t. Nor did she say a word.
“You don’t think I’ll marry Ben?”
She closed the photo album and looked at me. “I’ll be honest with you hen. I don’t think you will.”
I felt shocked and blew a stream of air out of my mouth. “Wow. You’ve never said that before.” I felt my chest tighten. “What makes you say that?”
She looked away again. “He makes you cry a lot.”
“I won’t dispute that but I think we sometimes get our lines crossed and I get in a state over nothing. Maybe I need to just calm down a bit, even although he does have a tendency to wind me up.”
Mum gave me a disapproving look and her silence spoke volumes.
“What?” I asked.
“I don’t think it’s you.”
I laughed. “You’re my mum, of course you’d say that.”
She nodded her head. “I just don’t see you being married to him.”
“You really don’t?”
“No, I really don’t.” She gestured to the outside with her hand. “I think there’s a lot more out there for you.”
I guess time will tell.