April 28th, 1989

April 28th, 1989

At home

Today was a massive eating day and now I feel really stuffed. I don’t know why I do it but once I get started it’s hard to stop. When I was in Florida at the beginning of this year, I watched a tv show, where people talked about their “eating disorders.” I don’t think I have anything that extreme but if I did, then who the hell would I talk to about it? Some of the people on the show talked about gorging themselves until they got sick. I certainly don’t do that but I do feel extremely sated after everything I scoffed today. My weight doesn’t fluctuate much though, so maybe I just need to stop being such a glutton (especially where certain foods are concerned.)

Went to Willen Lake with mum this morning. We took Tini and he loved the walk but on the way home, he got really sick all over the back seat of the car. Poor little thing. I felt so sorry for him, even when I had to clean up the mess.

Had a lovely chat to Nana on the phone tonight. Mum suggested we ring her because she’s been feeling a bit down recently but she sounded good to me. I wonder if she gets lonely living alone? I don’t think I would like to live by myself. It might be ok for a short time but certainly not something I’d want when I’m Nana’s age, which I can’t imagine ever being. I wonder if it’s just me or if other people also have a difficult time imagining what they’ll be like when they’re much older?

It’s Friday night and I spent it alone in my room, writing an epic letter to Ben. It took ages because I kept stopping and starting. Sometimes I don’t know what to write to him and there are other times when I feel I could write for days on end. I feel such a sense of the distance between us right now and I hate how far away he is. Tomorrow night I’ll be in Bermuda, putting even more distance between us.

To console my sad little heart, I watched Sting’s “Bring On The Night” video. It never disappoints. I love the opening scenes in Paris with all the landmarks but of course the best bits are any time Sting has screen time. I’ll admit, there was a fair amount of drooling involved! I can’t believe that after the amount of times I’ve played and rewound that video cassette, it still works!

 

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