May 2nd, 1989
Night flight from BDA – LGW
Presently on crew rest, enjoying a lovely cup of Earl Grey and yummy finger sandwiches that Alison “acquired” from the Club World galley, on her way back from a visit to the flight deck with two little boys and their dad.
As much as I’m enjoying sitting in the back row of the TriStar with only a curtain separating me from the passengers (read in a cynical tone) the best thing about this, is the break from Walter and his array of permanently sour looking expressions. I’ve come to the conclusion that Walter is, by far, the most miserable person I’ve ever met. I don’t know how he got through the interviewing process to become Cabin Crew, let alone even more in-depth interviews in order to become a Purser. There’s just over three hours to go before we arrive at Gatwick and because of the hour, the cabin lights are dimmed. With most of the passengers asleep, I have no excuse to be in the cabin, which means, when this break is over, I’ll be stuck in the confines of the galley with Walter.
Compared to the things that happened on this trip, our last day in Bermuda was uneventful. Only Alison and Patty showed up in the lobby at nine for breakfast, after which we took the ferry again, to the beach at the Southampton Princess. I imagine it costs a small fortune to stay at either of the Princess hotels and the fact I was, and am, getting paid for this, is not lost on me.
We had a great day on the beach and got so caught up talking that we missed the last ferry back. We had to catch a bus, which was filled with young children, all of who looked so cute in their school uniform. When the bus rounded the corner in Hamilton, Travis’s ship came into view. Alison immediately started talking about him and said I should’ve asked him for his address, so we could keep in touch. I didn’t dare tell her he asked me for mine.
Back in my room, I tried to sleep for a bit before our evening pick up but just like last night, I found myself tossing and turning, thinking about Ben and how bad I felt about how close I came to kissing Travis. It’s made me see how easy “things” can happen and I wonder if Ben has found (or finds) himself in those kinds of situations when he’s away. I can see now how it can escalate from having a great time with someone to getting completely carried away, like I felt I wanted to last night.
Right before Travis and I left the hotel bar, he asked if he could walk me to my room. In my head, I imagined him doing so and then I thought about how I would feel, standing by my room door with him, saying goodbye, knowing I’d never see him again. There was a part of me that wanted to say yes to him, but I knew if I did, he would’ve probably ended up in my room and really, how would I feel about that now? The good girl inside me thinks I’d feel absolutely awful and would never forgive myself for betraying Ben, but the other girl, the one I’m just getting to know (I refuse to call her bad) shrugs her shoulders, smiles and knocks back several dark ‘n’ stormy cocktails!
Shit! I definitely need something stronger than Earl Grey for this!