October 19, 1989

October 19th, 1989

At home

Her name is Mandy.

Apparently they met while she was on holiday in France. She was so smitten with him that she forgot to go home and soon moved in with him.

I found this and more out this afternoon when Ben finally appeared on my doorstep. He looked like shit and said he said he had just come back from Liverpool.

“I have a lot to tell you,” he said, sitting across from me at the kitchen table.

It was so difficult listening to what he had to say about the girl he went to Liverpool to see. Apparently, she came home last week, with the expectation that they would continue to see each other once he got back. However, after our last conversation, he said he realized I’m the one he wants to be with. So, he went to see her and tell her it’s all over.

While I was listening to him spill the beans, I watched him closely and for the first time, it occurred to me what an actor he is. It seemed almost as though he was reading from a script. I wanted to tear his eyes out and kiss him, all at the same time.

All of a sudden, mum came crashing through the kitchen door, looking completely disheveled. From her expression, I could tell she’d taken too many tablets. She took one look at Ben and shouted, “You better leave, right now.”

Ben looked at me but I couldn’t find any words. He stood up and looked at mum. “I’m very sorry,” he said.

Mum stared at him. “Get out,” she hissed.

“Mum, please calm down,” I said, as calmly as I could. “He’s leaving.”

Ben followed me out into the hall, where I heard something crash against the glass wall. I didn’t dare look to see what mum had thrown.

“I love you,” Ben whispered, while I held the front door open. “This can’t be the end of us. Tell me it isn’t,” he pleaded.

I didn’t look at him when I closed the door.

 

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