December 12th, 1990
At home, England
The best thing about today was an extremely long, overdue chat with Pamsy.
“Why didn’t you ring and tell me about David?”
“I’ve been too sad. I just find it easier not to talk about it.”
“You always do that.”
“Do what?” I asked.
“I know. It’s probably not the best way to deal with stuff but I’m so sick of being let down. I just want to be happy!”
“You will, I know you will,” she said her soothing tone prompting water works.
“Aw, don’t cry,” she said. “Everything is going to be fine. You just need time.”
“It really hurts,” I sniffed. “I thought he was the one and I feel so foolish saying that but I truly thought he was.”
“I could throttle him,” she said, in a way that made me laugh. “Do you think it’d be different if he’d met another girl?”
“I’ve asked myself that a million times and I still don’t know the answer. Either way, it doesn’t matter. It’s over. Over, over, over.”
“I hate that word.”
“Me too, unless it means no more dieting!”
She laughed. “You had better not be on a diet!”
“Quite the opposite actually.”
“Good girl,” she said. “This is not the time for deprivation. Anyway, what else has been happening?”
I filled her in on Christopher’s upcoming proposal and my quick jaunt to Paris.
“Another one off the market,” she sighed. “I always liked the sound of Christopher. I secretly hoped you’d come to your senses and end up with him.”
“You should know by now that sense and moi do not go together!”
She laughed. “We’ll get back to that in a minute but how was Johnny Jacks girlfriend?”
Pamsy cracked up laughing. “Nooooo.”
“Seriously, she was like the ugliest woman ever, verging on hideous actually.”
“I do have to say though,” I uttered in my best cockney accent, “She did possess a lovely personality!” Pamsy kept laughing while I continued. “I mean don’t get me wrong, he’s no Sting but he’s charming and he has oodles of sex appeal, but this woman-”
“What was her name?”
“Yeah for a, a, oh, I can’t even think of what to say!”
Pamsy cracked up again.
“But you know what’s amazing? He’s totally gaga about her. I mean utterly, head over heels, which is a funny expression because she towers over him.”
“Well he’s only, what, five two?”
I laughed. “Not quite that short but she’s five ten, at least. They make a very odd couple, yet somehow it works and they’re kind of perfect together. It was quite something to witness.”
“Were you a bit put out?”
“It’s so funny you should ask that because initially I did feel that way which made no sense, I mean it’s not like he was the love of my life but it just seems everyone around me is starting to settle down in one way or another and I’m still out here, very single.”
“As am I,” Pamsy sighed. “Love is confusing.”
“Or in Jean Jacques case,” I giggled. “Blind. Love is blind.”