February 13th, 1991

February 13th, 1991

Flight from LGW – BDA

Hamilton Princess Hotel, Bermuda

This pale pink hotel is, by far, one of the nicest we crew stay in and it’s exciting to think that in less than a month, I’ll be back to attend Lorna and Klaus’s wedding.

We arrived to a beautiful, sunny afternoon and on the crew bus, Ava, the First Class purser sat behind Tessa and me and joined in our conversation. According to our Purser, Ava’s nickname is Lady Lace due to the fact she insists on covering the FC galley and cabin in various what she calls, “enhancements,” because, “Life is so much prettier in lace!” I doubt British Airways would be thrilled to learn their award-winning First Class silver service comes adorned in lace doilies, but I suppose when you’ve been flying as long as Ava you can get away with anything.

Ava asked Tessa and I if we’d like to join her for “a spot of window shopping,” so we made our way along Main Street, with Ava oohing and aahing at the array of window boxes outside every pastel coloured building. Outside a shop painted sun yellow, a girl was handing out chocolates so I stopped to take one.

“Let’s take a peek inside,” Ava suggested, so we stepped into what I presumed to be a chocolatier, heaven on earth for sure, but once inside, I realized we were in no such place.

“I’d like to get my lady bits waxed in the shape of a heart, in honour of Saint Valentine,” Ava cooed to the girl behind the counter.

Tessa’s mouth dropped open and I turned my back so Ava wouldn’t see me giggling.

“I shan’t be long dahlings,” Ava smiled, as another girl led her into one of the treatments rooms.

Tessa and I took a seat on the plush couch in the reception area and browsed through several brochures offering all manner of cosmetic procedures. The only sound we could hear, aside from the calming music, was Ava’s booming voice.

“Make it a little smaller dahling, that’s it, a nice little furry heart.”

“Furry heart?” Tessa mouthed as I popped another chocolate in my mouth, nearly choking on it.

“Girls? Girls?” Ava called. “Would you care to see the masterpiece Marcia has created?”

I immediately fell into a fit of giggles and couldn’t speak.

“Uhm, no thank you, Ava,” Tessa managed to say. “Thank you for the lovely offer though!”

“Ok my dahlings, I shan’t be long.”

Ava reappeared, looking rather chuffed with herself. She noisily pecked Marcia the heart maker on each cheek before pressing a wad of cash into her hand.

“Beautiful dahling, just beautiful.”

Back at the hotel, Ava invited us to her room for, “A civilized drink. Nobody bothers to take the time anymore. I find it all rather depressing.” In Ava’s room, a woman, donned in the uniform worn by hotel staff, was unpacking her suitcase and ironing!

“Thank you my sweet,” Ava gushed as the woman smiled and continued with the task at hand. “Dahling, would you mind terribly if I took the liberty of asking you to procure two bottles of the very finest bubbles room service has to offer?”

“My pleasure,” the woman, whose name tag read, “Ali,” smiled.

After the first cork was popped, Ava said, “Gosh, Ali dahling, please do put down that dratted iron and come join us in a little celebration.” With the second bottle empty, Ava managed to acquire two more, over which she regaled us with tales of her thirty plus years of flying, slipping in the fact she has a Rolls Royce, complete with, of course, a chauffeur!

“A woman driving is so terribly common, wouldn’t you agree, dahlings?”

By the time I left Ava’s room, I felt more than woozy and the prospect of a relaxing evening seemed more than appealing, all until Ava rang to remind me she was treating the entire crew to “An early lovey dovey supper in honour of Saint Valentine.”


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